Privacy Notice

As of September 28th, 2015 at 07:30 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, I do not give Dr. Henry Frankenstein or any entities associated with the Frankenstein family or its consignees permission to use my brain or body parts (internal or external) in the creation of new humanoid entities, living, undead or any combination thereof. By this statement, I give notice to Frankenstein (and his man-made creations, heirs, brides, mentors, or possessors of his secret notebooks) that he/she/they/it are strictly forbidden to chase, kidnap, molest, disinter or otherwise menace me, secure me to a gurney with straps (made of leather or any other material), connect me to electrodes or devices through which electricity may be conducted, or otherwise accost my physical person while alive or after my death(s). My body is private and confidential and, with this posting, is hereby registered with the Writers Guild of American East. The violation of privacy can be punished by law (UCC 1-308- 1 1 308-103 and the Rome Statute). NOTE: Dr. Frankenstein is not currently alive, but can always return in a sequel, reboot, adaptation, or narrative reimagining. Anyone fearing this must post a similar note. If you do not publish a statement at least once, it will be tactically allowing Frankenstein (et al.) to use you in experiments, both in the United States of America and in unnamed, vaguely Bavarian nations created on the Universal backlot, both in the past and the future.

ggggg

BrainV2

About willmckinley

I'm a New York City-based writer, video producer, print journalist, radio/podcast host, and social media influencer. I've been a guest on Turner Classic Movies (interviewed by Robert Osborne), NPR, Sirius Satellite Radio, and the official TCM podcast. My byline has appeared in Slate.com and more than 100 times in the pages of NYC alt weeklies like The Villager and Gay City News. I'm also a social media copywriter for Sony's getTV and a contributor to four film-and-TV-related books: "Monster Serial," "Bride of Monster Serial," "Taste the Blood of Monster Serial," and "Remembering Jonathan Frid."
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15 Responses to Privacy Notice

  1. Dan Day Jr. says:

    Does this notice include Baron Victor Frankenstein?

  2. Nitrate Diva says:

    “…and in unnamed, vaguely Bavarian nations created on the Universal backlot…” Thank you for making my day with this. (Personally, my heart has belonged to Universal horror, and specifically to Colin Clive, since 1997.)

  3. Jennifer says:

    This cracked me up, Will! What a great opener for classic horror season (aka October).

  4. Bwahahaha! This is pure silliness and I loved every word!

    But seriously, being strapped down with leather straps can be hella amazing. You should try it at least once before your death(s).

  5. Tonya says:

    Tee hee!! Thanks for this… a laugh so needed! 🙂

  6. Jens Lyon says:

    LOL!

    The same goes for me. Hear that, Dr. Frankenstein?

  7. Phenomenal. Well done, sir

  8. Brian says:

    What about Dr. Fredrick Frankensteen?! LOL! After all, he did create a monster in “Young Frankenstein”! LOL!

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